Battle with mental illness

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 What happens when I lose this battle with mental illness? Their words that are full of shrillness Pierce my earlobes and disrupt my mind's stillness Maybe I wasn't cut out for this world's business Does it get better? Will you stay by my side when all goes to shit? Will THEY judge me because of it? Their probing eyes over my mind every little bit Or will you join them, making me lose my wit? I can take comfort, in the most subtle way, That when I fall down the abyss, on that fateful day I will have him by side dearly, everything pretty eventually decays My mind is no exemption I should say We are all locked in a prison that is our very minds What a powerful prison it is that binds In the face of all my finds, I know HE is watching without any blinds, Waiting to be let out to cast his spellbinds! Our minds are our own prisons

Pain and the hearts

This stream of water that flows in my bathroom, reminding me of the drowning feeling
 I have now is this social media post, that regardless of everything you were worth it 
This great pain in my heart, a reminder of how my heart yearned for you 
How badly I wanted you, to have and to hold!!
Do I loathe how I met you, in the most inconvenient of ways?
 Yet sprung a love of great deluxe, that blossomed into butterflies in my stomach
 I bored you, what you said in a frenzy of truthfulness 
Would you understand if I said was walking on eggs the whole time?
 To say you needed my character change, to bring out the fun

Which I obliged but alas, you couldn’t handle the darkness
 That fills my soul in reserve, which engulfs my silhouette
You wouldn’t listen; I was protecting you hiding the darkness 
 My heart still yearns for you, in the darkest and loneliest of hours.

 I said I would always love you, and love you I will till the end of time 
I am staring at the last picture I have of you, as a thick stingy tear rolls down my left cheek
Your big round foxy eyes staring back at my overwhelmed and shook person 
 The realization that I will never have you, but just as a flower blooms in darkness
 I won’t be afraid, for my subconscious is mine and mine only and it reigns supreme

Why did you forsake me, yet you claimed you loved me more than I would ever imagine??
I need to know, for the pain in my chest to stop
I see a picture of a headlight of a car illuminating a dark windy chilly night
With that I know you will come home, I will embrace you with open arms
 I  shall collect the chimmy broken pieces of my heart as they cut through my fingers


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